Wendy's Launches "Eat Responsibly" Hasselhoff Ad Campaign

NEW YORK - After weeks of hemming, Wendy's executives finally gave the green light on the much talked about and highly criticized taboo ad campaign featuring a shirtless David Hasselhoff eating a Wendy's burger while intoxicated. The enormous billboard was unveiled in New York's Times Square as thousand of people reacted in awe. Themed, "Eat Responsibly," the ad is designed to target late night eaters who, like the famed Baywatch star, find themselves in need of good, greasy sustenance before passing out.

"Yeah, we we're a little nervous," said Wendy's Chief Marketing Officer, Robert Nol. "But the advertising creatives said it's what our target wants. And we believe them because they wear cooler clothes than we do and know about things like Youtube and Apple computers."

However, talentless ad critics nationwide are sinking their teeth into the campaign, ripping it to shreds. "Are you kidding me," said Karen Jessup, AdMonthly's chain restaurant beat reporter and bitch on wheels. "How could this ad make people want to eat hamburgers? It's revolting!" But some critics claim Jessup can't be too revolted after she's written six articles, ten blogs, toured eight national morning shows and designated ten minutes in a college commencement address to the ad - fueling the buzz the ad creators hoped for.

"Yeah we use Macs and listen to iPods and our office has a subscription to Maxim and Wired," said EEF Advertising's Creative Director Ryan Baxter. "But there's more to it than that. We also have green beanbags, drive scooters and hold brainstorms at the IMAX. We're kids!" It should be noted that Mr. Baxter is a forty-two year old divorced father of two living in the burbs who, despite owning a Mini Cooper, hasn't been out passed twelve o'clock since he was twenty-nine. In fact, if it wasn't for Baxter's twenty-two year old intern making sixteen dollars a week, his team wouldn't know cool if it kicked them in the groin.

When asked what he thought about seeing his intoxicated, withering body blown eighteen times its original size all over the country, David Hasselhoff said. "It's helping me stay sober. Just the other day I was about to get shit-faced at this Santa Monica Applebees when a Wendy's-wrapped bus pulled up alongside the window. I was like, 'What am I doing? I have a precious daughter at home waiting to blackmail me with a video camera. I have to get my hair done.'"

Entertainment reporters who speculated that this campaign would end Hasselhoff's career are now standing corrected. Yesterday, FOX announced a new reality show titled, "Shirtless Confessions," in which Hasselhoff will play host to celebrities' shirtless, drunken confessions on national television. Sponsored by Wendy's, the show is scheduled to run during the late hours, reaching the highly coveted college set.

Although it's a little too early for sales results, one random Wendy's patron said, "Whatever. I don't really pay attention to ads...or David Hasselhoff for that matter." She then sat down in the sun and stuffed her face with fries.