Does Anybody Know Where I Can Like Score Some Really Good Cocaine? by Tara Conner, Miss USA

Hello blogosphere, can anyone hear me?

Hey, I was just wondering if like anybody in the World Wide Web knows where I could score some really good cocaine? I totally had a great time snorting it the other night and have been looking to do it again.

I asked Trumpkins if he had any and he just smiled and said, "Don't talk so much," as he opened his silk robe and turned out the lights.

And don't be gettin' all upset because you think I'm addicted - I'm actually using the Devil's dust as a means of weight control. So think of my love for cocaine much like my love for the gym and not eating.

Seriously, what does the prettiest girl in the U.S. gotta do to score some free lines? You all gave me a second chance at being Miss USA - now get me a second helpin' of that pure Columbian Coochie-Coo pronto!

Oh, and while I'm here, let me give a shout out to my favorite city in the whole wide world - New York!! I just love the New York with it's tall buildings and underground locomotives. It's like Oz except with black people.

Well, I just dug through my Prada bag and couldn't find a speck of cocaine. So, maybe one you all could UPS me some or stop by my apartment (must be good-looking or friendly like Santa Claus). I live in SoHo above the Baby Nicole Miller, apartment #2 1/2. I'm usually home from like 11am - 3pm watching TV and looking at myself, then I walk my dog, puke, then go to the Broadway Gym...after that I come home to shower, eat humus and get ready for the clubs by 5 pm EST.

Side note...if any doctors are readin' this, I have a question: is it okay if you snort carpet cleaner while you're waitin' for somebody good-lookin' to drop cocaine off at your crib? If so, cool beans. If not, what should one do if they've just done it?

I also want to take this wonderful opportunity to say I didn't make out with Miss Teen USA like everybody thinks I did. I simply put my tongue in her mouth and tweaked her nipples a bit. Big deal! I did it so this investment banker from the Hampton's would fork over a bottle of Grey Goose. And that doesn't make me a gay alcoholic either - just means I like to kiss girls when I'm thirsty.

Well, this was fun blogging with you all....um....hey, I'm not sure how to end this so I'm just going to say I strongly support Pink and her hatred of wool sweaters. I hate wool sweaters too because they're itchy and make me look like a dyke. I also support Al Gore and his efforts to make our world a warmer, more comfortable place to live. I LOVE all things Brad Pitt and would kiss Angelina Jolie even if I weren't thirsty. Um...I encourage space exploration too and hope our spacemen discover a time machine so they can travel to the future and bring back a cure for humidity. I think everyone should drive smart cars in 2007, especially if they can talk like K.I.T. and score above a 900 on their SATs. My resolutions for 2007 are to NOT gain weight, learn the alphabet after the letter "P" and to scoure some coke without having to use this internets...

I've run out of things to say.

Yep...I've done run out of things to say so I'm gonna say goodbye blogosophere!!!! I'll miss you!!!

Yours with Kisses,

Tara Conner
Miss USA